The world’s three largest economies, the European Union, the United States, and China, have now been officially taken over by the Maoists. “People thought that Deng Xiaoping killed us” comments the anonymous head honcho of the Maoist State of Europe, America, China and Hong Kong (MSEACH), who considers himself to be the second coming of Mao Zedong, “But nobody wonders who killed Deng Xiaoping. And look, we’re back, in the most unexpected nations of all.“.
When asked if they would succeed this time, he promptly exclaimed, “We’ve succeeded each time. The previous coming of myself had solely one aim. It was to endanger the sparrow. And we succeeded. A more well-framed question would be if we would remain in power for a longer period of time. The answer is yes. This time, we will be controlling nearly 59% of the world’s economy, and have a special new strategy…“.
After being prompted to explain the “special new strategy”, the head honcho of MSEACH, to whom we will hereby refer to Zedong II, explained “Oh, specialisation of course! We will specialise in economic destruction in the EU and social clampdown in the US. Monopolies FTL!“. Zedong II, who apparently thinks that “FTL” stands for “For The Loss” instead of the actual “Faster Than Light”, added that China is their backup option, when asked about their plans for the 1.36-billion-strong nation.
Zedong II also shed some light on the actions they have already taken to restore the reign of Mao Zedong across the world.
- Implementation of BrowserChoice against Microsoft in the EU
- A ton of anti-trust lawsuits, mostly against Microsoft and Google.
- Breakup of Google services in the EU
- Infringement of the sovereignity of non-US countries
- Destruction of user privacy in the US (which basically encompasses the entire world besides Russia thanks to the previous point)
Zedong II was quick to point out that this is only the trailer, and the eventual goal of the MSEACH is to
utterly screw up the world and its economy save the world from crony capitalist forces.
No, seriously. WHAT DO THESE NEO-MAOISTS LEADING THE US AND THE EU THINK OF THEMSELVES? What a sad state that has become of the US. One party doesn’t understand science; the other does not understand the economy. And the EU, thanks to the French, whose left and right are all the left (there the left are the Marxists, and the right are the Maoists. guess who’s better).
What rights do the Maoists in the US have to order Microsoft to hand over emails stored in its Irish servers (1, 2, 3)? I’m not a privacy freak, but the thought of a government agency personally reading your emails should freak anybody out.
And then people are thinking of bringing back SOPA. Maoism is very much alive.