An Irreligion FAQ

Those who are irreligious (atheists and agnostics such as myself) get various stupid questions asked regularly. Before asking such questions, I request you all to refer to this FAQ, the irreligion FAQ. Atheists and agnosticists will be collectively referred to as “a*ists* in this FAQ.


How do you a*ists define God?

*gods.

We don’t. That’s your job, as a theist. We tell you our belief, or disbelief, based on however you define them. Usually, when identifying as a*ists, though, we mean “absence of belief/belief of absence in an omnipotent, omniscient, or omnipresent creator, destroyer, or preserver indescribable by our laws of physics“.

What, in your view, is religion? What does it mean to be religious?

Religion is the complete belief in a philosophy of the past, including science and ethics, perhaps restricted geographically, that is overruled by a more modern philosophy. To be religious is to believe in a religion, in part or in full, irrationally and solely because it is from the past. To be pseudo-religious is to be religious without full knowledge of their own belief.

What do agnosticism, atheism even mean?

Let’s put this on a scale.

scale from theism to agnosticism to atheism
It’s a 1-dimensional scale – please stop putting “gnostic-agnostic” on a separate orthogonal axis.

The three positions to the left imply absence of belief in gods. The three positions to the right imply absence of disbelief in gods. Below, “” means “and everything to the left of it“. E.g. “Agnostic theists –” means “Agnostic theists, Agnostics, Agnostic atheists, and Gnostic atheists“. Similarly, “+” means “and everything to the right of it“.

Agnostics – : Absence of belief in the presence of gods

Agnostic atheists – : Disbelief in the presence of gods

Gnostic atheists – : Belief in absence of gods

Agnostics + : Absence of belief in the absence of gods

Agnostic theists + : Disbelief in the absence of gods

Gnostic theists + : Belief in the absence of gods

I hope you are thoroughly confused by now. No? Most atheists tend to be agnostic atheists, while most theists tend to be gnostic theists. Of course, there are regional variations. The theists of my own community tend to be agnostic theists. It’s also worth noting that one may be, say, an agnostic atheist in one god or definition of god, and, say, a gnostic theist in another god or definition of god. Most theists in their favourite god tend to be gnostic atheists in all other gods or definitions of god. So atheists are only slightly more atheistic than theists ; ). That is, given the 2500 different religions, their hundreds of thousands of cults, the more than 330,002,501 different gods they worship, and other gods from lesser known religions of a single person or a small group of people, or a tribe.

Do you a*ists worship demons or the devil?

We tend to not worship anything that doesn’t exist, idiot.

A*ists don’t believe in any gods and godsends. And that includes devils and their demons, devilsends, because devils are also. Period.

And seriously, if devils are symbols of evil and gods are symbols of good,… looking at what these gods do, I guess your bad is my good, and I would probably like these devils. What I don’t understand is how the good angels can bear with an arrogant, self-obsessed, idiotic, evil god, while a rational and sensibly liberal devil can bear with those evil, hateful, and destructive demons. That’s for Christianity, anyway. In Hinduism, the angels seem to be the only bad people, with a good (though quite angry, and biased against demons) god, unfortunately oppressed demons, and a kind devils.

Who are your prophets?

Haven’t you heard? For Hitchen’s sake. Oh my Carvaka! Holy Dawkins! The first of them is our single prophet, and the second two are the gods of the two cults of atheism.

What are your thoughts on Jesus Christ?

A nice social activist of Jewish ethnicity, who went a little crazy, and got overhyped. Strangely, he was brutally killed by members of the same religious community who today worship him. Huh.

Seriously, all a*ists, or even all agnostics, all agnostic atheists, or all atheists, don’t share an opinion on this random person.

Do you believe in evolution/the big bang?

Wrong word – you’re not supposed to believe in it. You’re supposed to learn the pre-requisites, understand the theory/model, and rationally assess it.

So do I think it’s true? Yes, I do. But that doesn’t mean all a*ists think it’s true. Unlike what you may believe, the entire lives of atheists does not revolve around going against theists. Pretty much the other way around, really. Being against evolution or the big bang is endorsed by Christianity, but so is refusing to kill someone. Huh, there are even so many contradictions in that big fat fictional novel, how do I go against it? I mean “Thou shall not kill” but “Jesus killed lambs and fishes, along with lots of other stuff.” and “God flooded the world and killed almost everyone including humans and animals“. Can someone tell me if I should kill you or not?

What kind of immoral folks are you?!

Type tFsM10-omega build 9906 (off-topic: decode this code and tell us in the comments!). Seriously, morals predate religion, and religion is based on morals and science setback certain time and place, i.e. outdated. Ethics evolve, like science. Religion is the refusal to evolve. So I won’t be surprised if the average atheist is twice as moral as the average theist.

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